When you enter into a long term love relationship such as marriage, you have created a brand new sociological unit called a family. This is a good thing.

The problem is that most couples spend more time planning a 3 day get away than they do on talking about how they want their relationship to be.

Creating on purpose

Here in front of you is now a blank story book, and you get to fill the pages. You can fill them with good stuff, you can fill them with bad stuff, or tear the pages if you are not careful.

So here are some crucial questions to consider as your create this relationship on purpose:

1) How do we want to spend our time?

2) How close do we want to be?

3) How are we going to handle money?

4) How do we protect our relationship from outside emotional attachments that are not good for the relationship?

5) How are we going to handle the domestic chores part of living under the same roof?

6) How do we want to handle conflict when it arises?

7) Are we going to hang the toilet paper over or under?

The only time these questions can be dangerous is when they are not discussed. Two things happen then:

1) assumptions are made and

2) expectations are then formed, accurate or not.

The best way to predict the future of your relationship is to create it.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com