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Main –› Family & Home –› Parenting
 

What is Incest?

 

Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between family members who arent married to one another. State laws vary regarding the type of sexual activity and also on what constitutes the type of kinship that indicates incest rather than just sexual abuse.

Some definitions include teachers, neighbors, step families, baby sitters, ministers/priests and others who are in the circle of influence of a child and have established an emotional bond. That is why it is so hard to get substantiated statistics, because referring to the same thing by different names and different things by the same name often creates confusion.

Incest has been cited as the most common form of child abuse and yet it is an extremely under-reported crime. This type of abuse and betrayal of trust has the most potential for psychological and emotional harm to children. Incest has been called a violation of the child where he or she lives by a person who has trust and authority over them. A child molested by a stranger can run home for help and comfort. A victim of incest cannot. Who commits incest?

Generally it is considered incest if the child has been used in a sexual manner by: fathers, or step-fathers, mothers, or step-mothers, brothers, sisters or cousins as well as members of their extended family such as grandparents, aunts and uncles.

In cases of incest, is there just one child abused?

Sometimes the oldest child, or the girl, or one who is handicapped, or the one with long hair or it could be all of the children. There is no way to determine what the pattern of fantasy an offender has. If a grandfather is found to be abusing a ten year old granddaughter, it would be wise to err on the side of caution and protect all the children. He should be held accountable for his acts, whether it was one child or a multi-generational cycle of abuse.

Incest can happen in any family and can happen one time or be an on-going problem. People who were themselves victims of physical and sexual abuse may not know any other way to relate to their children. Boundaries are crossed and sacred trusts are broken. Sometimes there is confusion in family roles and if the parent is absent, either physically or emotionally, the child is forced into that role. Sometimes an adult will rationalize what they are doing is a service to the child to teach them about sex and prepare them for adulthood.

Whatever the reason or the excuse the offender uses, it is wrong! Adults are responsible for protecting, loving and nurturing children, not traumatizing and hurting them.

Incest becomes very confusing for the child involved. Many times the perpetrator really does love and value the child, but chooses an inappropriate way of expressing that love.

Author: Judy H. Wright
 
Author Bio:

Judy H. Wright

Judy is a parent educator, family coach, and personal historian who has written more than 20 books, hundreds of articles and speaks internationally on family issues, including end of life. . Active as a PBS-Ready to learn consultant, she works with Head Start organizations and child care resource centers. She and Dwain, her husband of 40 years, have six grown children and seven grandchildren. They consider their greatest success in life that their children like themselves and each other.

The symbol of the artichoke has great meaning for Judy in her teaching and writing. As she works with families, she sees that frequently only the outer edges are exposed and they can be prickly and sometimes bitter to the taste. But, as you expose the artichoke and people to warmth, caring, and time, gradually the leaves begin to open and expose the real treasure­the heart.

The artichoke also became a teaching lesson when Judy, with her young family, moved into military housing in California to find Artichokes in their yard. Given that it takes two years for the vegetable to flower, the original gardener never got to see the seeds of her labor. Many times, our actions and reactions in life are felt by people we will never meet, but we plant the seeds of kindness anyway.

You will enjoy Judy's approachable manner, wonderful storytelling and common-sense solutions gleaned from working with hundreds of families and organizations just like yours. Your encounter with Judy will leave you feeling inspired, entertained and especially motivated. Visit Judy's website for excellent references and a full listing of books, workshop topics, tele-classes and testimonials.

To make arrangements for your group or organization to enjoy having Judy present a keynote address, workshop or training session, please contact her at her website, via phone at (406) 549-9813 or via email at Judy@ArtichokePress.com

“Finding the heart of the story in the journey of life.”

 
 
 

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