Telling a woman she is beautiful is exactly the right thing to do. But don't do it too soon or the pleasure of giving her compliments is the only pleasure you'll get! Women absorb compliments like a sponge absorbs water. But a lot a men are reluctant to compliment at all. If you are in a relationship and you don't compliment your woman at least once a day (other than days when she's nagging you!) then you're not fulfilling your side of the deal. You won't understand for a moment what she's getting out of your compliments, but she sure is getting something. And hey - it costs nothing! So just go ahead and do it. She'll feel good, and so will you. But it's a different matter when you are dating, and particularly online dating. You have to know when giving out a compliment will get you one stage further towards your goal, and when it will ruin any chance you might have had. The safe option actually is never to compliment. If there's a 50/50 chance that you'll compliment in the right way or the wrong way, then getting it right will only make maybe a 20% contribution towards your chances of success. But getting it wrong will make a 100% contribution to your failure! So if in doubt, play safe and don't compliment. But when is it right to compliment? To understand this, we need to know something about what women want from men... Above all a woman wants a man she can respect. She wants to respect you for being in the Top 5% of men (which, as I explain on page 75 of my book, 'Online Dating Tips For Men', is exactly what you need to become - not necessarily be already - to be successful at online dating). When she gets a compliment from a Top 5% man, she'll swoon with delight. But a compliment from any other man means nothing. In fact, she will recognize from her lack of swooning with delight that you are not among her Top 5%. In fact you are in her 'Bottom 95%' of men, who to her are irrelevant sexually. So although she hadn't made up her mind yet - women can often take quite a long time to do this - the fact that the compliment didn't work for her has told her immediately that you are not among her potential mates. Women work on feelings like this, and that is something you will have to expect, if not understand. So when can you compliment? One answer is if the woman might have some reason to doubt her attractiveness. For instance she might have a visible birthmark, but it isn't something that makes a difference to you. If you compliment her on how attractive she is, she will appreciate that and you will score points. In this case your compliment will have to be 100% sincere or it won't work. But there's an even better way to compliment a woman safely, and that is to say something nice about her other than the way she looks. Compliment her intelligence, wit, dress-sense - anything other than her physical appearance. Attractive women get compliments all the time, but you have distinguished yourself by being different. Don't overdo it though. Complimenting a woman puts her in a position of advantage. If you hold back on the compliments so that she is tempted rather than fulfilled, her interest will be maintained. You know, complimenting a woman can be a pleasure too, but make sure that your relationship is sealed before you go all out. |