This poem is in response to the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee and their terrible and awkward sounding rendition of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas they have posted on their website. I present to you: Twas the Night Before Liberal Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Libs were all cowering like a scared little mouse;
They had lost their power, their birthright per se,
No purse strings they held for their own pimped out sleigh; Their children were unhappy but snug in their beds,
While visions of handouts danced round in their heads;
And Clinton in her mansion and Teddy in his,
Were tired of debating the meaning of is. Next year is a new one, every liberal had thought,
With a new dawn they would hatch a great left wing plot!
And all of their plans dwelled on one call of which,
Would be loud, often and shrill called Lets tax the rich! But they would not forget the old standby call
Its all about OIL! and Bush lied to us ALL!
And what in their wondering minds should appear?
But a war mom called Cindy coaxing out a faux tear. Behind her was Howard, the man they call Dean,
The head of their party, the man with the scream.
Hell rally the base and hell whip up their core,
I HATE Republicans and all they stand for! They are EVIL and wicked and steal from the poor!
What the Hell were you thinking in 2004!
To the Halls of the Congress! And to the White House!
Give us our power back! he loudly did grouse. Library records are in the hands of his SPIES!
Your liberties are dying on top of his LIES!
So vote for us next year! On this do not fail!
Else George Bush and his cronies will haul you to jail! And then in a flash proclaimed Senator Dick
Our Troops are like Nazis! Why wont that charge stick?
Yes! said another new loud voice from the lawn.
Our Troops! They cannot win! cried a small man named John. He thought his words true and would be met with such calm
For you see once he served in a war Vietnam
With a nod of assent Dean smiled with glee
With a platform like this I can ensure victory! His face lit with glee as he thought in his mind
Screw Clinton and Kerry! This party is mine!
Bush is an moron! He continued his bray
Those lemming like liberals theyll believe what I say! And then he prepared a retirement plot
To keep old people in line and show them their lot.
We will mortgage the young to provide for the old
They will not have a choice! They will do as their told! All this was good! Truly a plan fit for a king!
And he hoped that someday he would grasp that brass ring!
Many others had tried; those others had failed
With this plan he was sure, left wing power hed nailed! In horror Clinton she sat up with a bolt,
A dream of Deans power? That man is a dolt!
Absolute power was hers by hook or by crook
Shed call in a favor. Hed be dead with a look! So with comfort her head laid back down on her bed
The joy of her power flushed her cheeks oh so red!
But in the distance a man he screamed from afar
I rule this roost and my bite is worse than my RAAHR!" |
