After the New Year a friend of mine declared, This year Im really going to try to save more money!

The problem is, he has been trying for 3 years, but so far, his good intentions havent materialized and his credit card debt keeps growing.

For life coaches like me, the word try sets off alarm bells. If someone says hell try, what he is really doing is leaving a back door open for an easy exit. Its common to most of us: when our resolve breaks, we have contingency plans, ready excuses that will let us off the hook.

How many times have you tried to get a better job, tried to learn a new language, or tried to lose weight and just not made it? In each case, what is it that kept you from actually achieving your aims?

A few weeks after making his resolution, my friend admitted, I cant help it: there are too many great deals right now. Im just not any good at holding onto money. He was off the hook and back onto the merry-go-round of trying. Though he may have tried to keep his credit card in his wallet, the truth is, he was never really committed to saving his money.

What was he committed to then?

First, he was more committed to spending money. But more importantly, he was fully committed to the idea that he wasnt capable of saving it. His unconscious notions about money were in the drivers seat, and all of his good intentions began to break apart like a trailer home in a hurricane.

Smoking out these hidden commitments is often the first action a coach will take. The client needs to be fully aware of what he is really committed to. Otherwise, even with the best intentions in the world, his underlying commitments will dictate his actions. In the coaching process, we want to uncover the deeper motivations that keep people from carrying through on their goals.

Self-awareness is critical here. Coaches can help pull back the curtain on some of these unhelpful motivations by taking the client through a reflective process. If youve tried but failed to achieve something, try working through the following process.

First, write down five things in your life you set out to do, committed to and succeeded in doing. Now write down five things that you have been trying to succeed at for years but havent managed to yet. Finally, compare the two lists. Why do you think you succeeded in the first case but havent in the second case?

By answering this last question honestly, you can expose some buried notions that are holding you back and keeping you from achieving your stated goals.

Once this is clear, a coach can help create a workable structure: a clear plan of action, goals that can be measured and a system of accountability.

After he'd reached a dead end trying, my friend decided to work with a professional life coach. Together, he and his coach looked at what was holding him back from reducing his spending and then determined what he could commit to in order to stop it. He devised a budget and fixed a ceiling that he could feel comfortable with. He also detailed a debt reduction schedule that he and his coach could check on every week. He was happy to report to me that by the end of his first month, he had stopped using his credit cards altogether and was well on the way to cancelling out his debt. With his coach cheering him on and keeping him to his commitments, he wasnt trying anymore - he was taking action to get results.

The next time you decide to try to achieve something, think about what your real commitments are. And if youre struggling to make progress, work with a personal coach to help you stay the course.