Zen: Finding enlightenment through intuition and introspection.

Listening: Making an effort to attentively hear another person speaking.

Therefore Zen Listening might be best described as the art of using ones intuition and introspection to be fully present with another person during a conversation for the purpose of thoroughly hearing and understanding the other persons communication.

And why is this so important?

Because when we thoroughly listen we create a very powerful communication dynamic that in turn deepens any and all of our relationships...perhaps if everyone practiced Zen Listening we might have far fewer conflicts. You, however, will for sure create a more powerful presence in your own world by being a more effective listener; a Zen Listener.

Active listening is a term that has been around for a while and it is closely aligned to Zen Listening. Zen Listening and active listening mean the following:

• Letting go of your own agendas, opinions, judgments, and/or advice.

• Being present with the other person and disconnecting from your own thoughts.

• Inviting the other person to say more.

• Asking for clarification when you are unclear about what is being said.

• Offering understanding when you really get what the other person is conveying.

• Since this is all about understanding (and not at all about agreeing), there is no right or wrong. Your role, therefore, is to be the objective listener and observer.

• Listening with all your senses and your intuition to really get a thorough experience of the other persons communication.

• And when in doubt, asking the other person what it is that they would like from you. If they request input or advice, then feel free to offer such, but if not, then be prepared to offer your best Zen Listening.

Unfortunately none of us had a relationships 101 course in our schooling, very few of us have taken a good communications course, and many of us have had questionable communication and relationship role models. Therefore it is our responsibility, if we want healthy, lasting, and fulfilling relationships, to learn how to be effective communicators. The best communicator is the one who does the most powerful listening and who doesnt emotionally react.

I invite you to become a more powerful communicator through Zen Listening...who knows, maybe youll even change the world!

Ken Donaldson

Ken Donaldson, the REALationship Coach, has been based in Tampa Bay, Florida offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. He is a licensed mental health counselor; board certified as an addictions professional and clinical hypnotherapist; and certified as a master relationship coach. Ken is a graduate of the University of South Florida, the Institute for Life Coach Training and the Relationship Coaching Institute. He has been exclusively in private practice since 1993.

Ken is the author of the new breakthrough life and relationship success book Marry YourSelf First! Saying “I Do” to a Life of Passion, Power and Purpose. The material in this book is a result of Donaldson’s 15+ years of clinical counseling and coaching with thousands of individuals and couples. In this book, he reveals what he has discovered as the 20 core Principles of Passion, Power and Purpose. When these principles are applied to your life you can overcome self-limiting patterns and create abundant happiness, fulfillment and success in your life and relationships.

Donaldson’s primary message from this book is to “Master Your Life and Your Relationships!” Purchasers of this book are eligible for free coaching and educational programs to support and promote optimal growth and success.

Ken founded the REALationship Coaching programs empower people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships by building a powerful relationship with themselves first.

Included are the monthly Saturday Series workshops and the REAL Talk Forums. These programs are for couples and individuals alike, and help the participants live the most passionate and balanced lives possible.

He also facilitates the Marry YourSelf First program that assists singles to have more successful relationships and more satisfying lives. The graduates of this program leave with a clear vision of who they are, what they want, and how to get it.

In addition, he offers the Partners for Life programs for both pre-committed and committed couples that provide the tools and resources to help couples create relationships that are both lasting and fulfilling. Couples report that they have deeper intimacy and more fun as a result of utilizing the tools from these programs.

Ken also offers education and training programs for businesses and community organizations on a variety of personal growth and business improvement topics.