I hear three little words containing just 13 letters of the alphabet that come from almost everyone I work with. These 3 little words hold thousands and maybe even millions of people prisoners in their own lives. They have us do things we dont really want to. They prevent us from doing the things we really yearn to. They steal our dreams and our life energy. They keep us small and add significantly to our already stressful lives. These three powerful words are should and ought to. How frequently do the words should and ought to come up during the course of your day? Have they shown up at important times in your life? As in, I really should exercise today, I really should take this job, I really should go to this networking event tonight, or this.although Id really like to ________, I really ought to _________. You fill in the blanks. These 13 letters, when used in these contexts, take life energy from us. They can create other feelings like resentment and guilt and they took take energy from us. For now, its enough to know they come from our social or cultural conditioning. As powerful motivators they push us into taking action, or not. If we give in to our shoulds, we may be giving up on whats really important to ourselves and that starts an entirely different conversation with ourselves. If only I _______, I could have __________. Do you want to break free from the habit of shoulding yourself? Follow these few simple steps. The steps are simple. Doing them can be the hard work. If youve been doing this for years, you may be on automatic pilot. So have patience with yourself and with others too. Step 1. Notice - Pay attention to when you should yourself (Notice - does not mean criticize or beat yourself up about it. Just notice.)
Step 2. Pause to interrupt the habit of reacting to your should
Step 3. Choose a new reply or a new course of action
Step 4. Celebrate the energy reversal or freedom that comes from doing whats right for you Here's an example to get you started FROM.. I really should go for a run because I'm supposed to, it's run day. WHAT'S THE IMPACT? Yuk! Feels like drudgery, might push you forward but it's with a big effort. Likely takes longer to get out there and run. TO.......... Its run day. Im excited to go for my run today as it gives me more energy to help me create a great day. WHAT'S THE IMPACT? Do you feel the positive energy? That pulls us forward and that saves more energy for the run and gets us closer to the end result benefits with less effort. Your turn. Take a moment to practice to find an example from your own life? Examining your shoulds is more than simply turning a frown upside down but this simple process can get you started. Awareness of your conditioning, your values, whats important to you and more, combined with the willingness to make changes can put you on the path of a more inspired life. On that path you get to do more of what youre meant to and others get to see more of your individual greatness. Wishing you an inspired day! |
